how to become human


There is a certain kind of person who struggles deeply with the interpersonal. It is as if at birth, the part of the brain that is supposed to interpret other people's brain states—intentions, cues, emotions—was swapped out for something else, something that really likes numbers and structure and Minecraft. It wouldn't quite be considered autism by modern psychiatry, but it rhymes.

These people are kindred spirits to me. They are my people.

People in this category tend to have struggled to fit in during childhood. In adulthood, society values them in technical roles, but they have trouble making and keeping friends, and dating. Some are content to live a life of quiet isolation. Some get frustrated and turn their anger inward, and find community in such groups as incels or PUAs.

This is deeply tragic. It is a huge loss of human potential.

And it's completely needless. Social skills can be learned, even for an irredeemable shape rotator such as myself. You can rewire your brain to be more empathetic, engaged, and pleasant to talk to. And I've found the unlikeliest teacher: ChatGPT.

how to use this guide

  1. Engage in the roleplay scenario with GPT.
  2. Ask for feedback. Unguided practice will only serve to reinforce your existing habits. Always be asking the chatbot how you can do better, how it would have ideally phrased responses. Take that feedback to heart. Keep trying variations on the scenario until it is second nature.
  3. Do it for real. Apply what you've learned to real life. You should feel new possibilities open themselves up in your mind's eye.

part 1: how to interact with strangers.

small talk

part 2: how to be a good friend.

expand your latitude

be interested in the other person

part 3: how to romance.

the initial approach

providing comfort